Free Yourself From Your Childhood!

Breaking free from a traumatic childhood can show the way to happiness.

Most people associate childhood with happiness, freedom and light-heartedness. But we also know that this is not always the case. Because some experiences from childhood  shape us into adulthood.

How childhood shapes us

Experiences from childhood, familiar relationships in childhood, the family constellation, … there are many things in our childhood that shape us into adulthood.  Which to a certain extent make us who we are today.

But childhood was not always good and it is not always positive influences that we drag from our early years through our later life.

Often it is little things that we take up as children in the family and thus adapt for ourselves and incorporate into the process of personal development.

For example, if there is a rough tone within the family, this is considered normal for children. This may also be passed on to one’s own children as adults.

If there is a lack of love, affection and physical contact in the family, this will also influence the development of the child and behavior as an adult.

If we have learned as children that showing affection and physical closeness is not desired or exemplified, it may be that we as adults also have our difficulties with it.

So it is important to leave childhood behind and to free yourself from it in this sense.

Can you break free?

Clearly: yes! Nobody is doomed to suffer the consequences of any childhood experience or to subordinate their behavior as an adult to them.

It is important to consciously separate yourself from it, but this can only arise if an awareness has developed that the reason for behavior or reactions in the present can be traced back to things in the past.

Whoever dismisses himself and his behavior with “I’m just like that” or “I can’t help it” wins nothing – apart from more bitterness and dissatisfaction with their own situation.

Everyone can work on themselves and their behavior, their reaction to certain situations, events and emotions. The prerequisite here is the will and the knowledge.

One does not always manage to open oneself alone in order to loosen such emotional shackles from childhood, to break down behavior patterns and to fathom emotional reactions.

Sometimes it makes sense to get help from a professional.  To work out the reasons and to find ways to break free from the (fall) cords of childhood.

Is separation the solution?

Many people understand words such as “preparing the childhood” or “breaking away from the inner child” as a strict break with the family.  Separation and breaking off of contact with the entire family structure or only with certain people, in extreme cases contact with mother or father is completely cut off.

But that doesn’t have to be the solution, because it is radical and can lead to new wounds.  It is often better to work through the relationship with the family by questioning the individual and their behavior.

• Why did my mother treat me like that back then?
• Why did my father react one way or another?
• What is behind the reactions and emotions of these people?
• Why do they act the way they do and not differently?
• What exactly are the reasons for their behavior?

By exploring this background, you can understand why certain family members behave in their own way.

Did the mother perhaps have a traumatic experience in her childhood, perhaps during the war, that she did not come to terms with herself and that therefore led her to behave like this?

Recognizing the reasons for family members’ behavior can therefore lead to seeing them in a different light. This avoids another drastic experience, for example a break in contact, for both of them.

You are important to yourself!

Make sure to be considerate of yourself first, not others. Even if you understand that your mother or father react one way or the other because they had that or what traumatic experience in their childhood, it doesn’t mean that you have to endure it.

It’s just supposed to change your point of view and maybe this can smooth out your emotions a bit too.

Nevertheless, you should always ask yourself: “What do I want?” Or “How do I want to deal with the person?” And not “What am I expected to do?”.

It is important how you feel around such family members, even if you now know their background.

As for your own childhood experiences that made you who you are today, one thing is clear: you can leave them behind.  If that’s what you want, you can get professional help if necessary.

As everywhere, it starts with one thing: the firm will to do it.