Avoiding Quarrels Among Siblings

Quarreling among siblings is normal, but you should instill respect for them and a certain culture of argument.

Everyone knows quarrels between siblings, but such an argument does not always go smoothly because there is a lack of respect.

As a parent, you have a responsibility to raise your children in such a way that arguments among siblings do not always escalate to the extreme and negatively affect the mood of the entire family.

Quarrel among siblings – with respect

Whatever the cause of sibling arguments, you need to teach them not to lose respect for the sibling, even then, and create a culture of argument where apologizing and forgiving are commonplace.

Children have their reasons why siblings often quarrel. This can include jealousy, envy or sharing a room or toys, but it can also have deeper reasons such as a feeling of rejection or disadvantage.

As parents, we have to be reliable and impartial referees in which the children recognize a friend and partner and not an opponent.

Often it is not clear how a referee should decide, then the parent has the role of an arbitrator who has to ensure that each other is treated with respect.

It is your job to set boundaries and to make sure that these are not violated in arguments between siblings. The sooner you start teaching your children this, the more cultivated the sibling controversy will be in the future.

Respect as a limit

Teach your children that respect is not placed on the negotiating table. This value must be first and foremost within the family and among siblings.

Under no circumstances should they disregard the other person, let alone violence against him, by violating his person, his characteristics or his physical condition.

Once you end a sibling argument, make it clear the importance of respect. Be absolutely strict: Children have to understand that respect is important and that this limit must not be exceeded, no matter how angry it is with the other sibling.

Sibling quarrel: thinking and apologizing

The moment you step into a sibling confrontation , let them show you and explain what they did.

You then have to work with them to think about what happened. Try to create emotional connections between the two of them through what started the fight.

For example, if they argue about a toy, then one sibling does not want to share it with the other. Then they should apologize and make up again, regardless of the size of the “offense”.

No argument can be so big that you cannot forgive your brother or sister.

Help them find a solution on their own

It is important to give children tools for resolving conflicts. It is all the more important for siblings to know that problems need to be solved without breaking the boundaries of respect or the use of force.

Dialogue and negotiation must be the way to resolve their differences. If the situation is beyond their own conflict resolution skills, before physically attacking each other, they must seek help from parents or other adults they trust.

By setting clear boundaries, children can extrapolate their skills to resolve conflicts and other aspects of their lives, thereby creating better relationships with friends, teachers, and relatives.

Let empathy develop

In the process of resolving conflicts, it is important to teach the child to exercise empathy or to “take the place of the other”.

This is important for children to understand the position of their sibling or other people, to understand what he felt, what influenced him. This is the best way to avoid future conflict.

The key question we need to ask them is, “How would you feel if you were in your brother / sister’s place?” This exercise has a positive effect on many future aspects of your children’s lives.

Patience and more patience

In order to lead a happy life with your children, you need a lot of calm and patience in the face of these confrontations. No doubt there will be times when you feel great to times when you can question yourself as a parent and even get depressed.

However, do not lose your patience. Everything will pass and everything will be fine. If you feel that your patience is over, don’t hesitate to seek advice from a professional psychologist.