Coping With The Death Of The Partner

Death is part of life and yet it can sometimes appear suddenly. Anyone who is confronted with the death of their partner first needs time to process the loss and to be able to accept it at all.

Death is part of life and yet it can sometimes appear very suddenly. Anyone who is confronted with the death of their partner first needs time to process the loss and to be able to accept it at all.

You don’t just say goodbye to a person who has taken on a special status, you also say goodbye to a shared past, present and future. The death of the partner is a farewell to common plans, unforgettable moments, accumulated experiences and trusting togetherness.

Enduring such a loss is not and never will be easy. It will take time and cause a lot of suffering. Still, it is important to leave this pain behind so that life can go on.

Death of partner

How to deal with this loss is a difficult question because it is complex. How should the death of the partner, but also of the best friend, soul mate and life companion be coped with at the same time? This seems impossible at first, but it is not.

In the course of life, every person is confronted with loss and grief for a loved one. However, there are certain possibilities and techniques that can help you find your way back to life and come to terms with the pain.

Because it is inevitable to have to close this wound at a certain point. If not done in a meaningful way, it can ultimately lead to further problems: phobias, fears, uncompromising and other impairments.

Giving up time and patience for the pain

Pain is a physical, emotional, and social reaction to losing someone we love. Depending on your own personality, this reaction can vary in intensity. It can also be associated with certain characteristics and take more or less time.

Even so, enough time is required. This means that you have to give yourself time to even understand what happened. The important thing is to be indulgent with your own feelings.

Pain is always a necessary, albeit often traumatic, experience. The mourner must be able to understand that suffering is part of it and that a wound must first heal. This should be done without pressure, allowing the pain and sadness to occur. You have to do the following:

• accept the loss
• mourn at the loss
• get used to the new life without him after the death of the partner
• withdrawing from the deceased (this means, for example, being able to talk about them normally, learning to love again and entering into relationships)

According to experts, the pain can last up to 18 months. If this, together with the grief, lasts longer and is still very intense, professional help should be sought if possible. However, as mentioned earlier, each person takes a different amount of time to process.

Talk about the partner

The important thing is to regain life. What has happened has to be left behind and what lies ahead has to be focused. However, this does not mean removing from life the person who filled the heart with love and was present every day. It will always be a part of who you are.

Even if it will be very painful, especially in the first few months, the memory of the loved one should anchor itself within and become part of personal history.

For this reason, it can be helpful to talk about this person and the feelings you associate with them: how they were, what you went through together, shared experiences … All of these will help to heal.

Imagine a future after your partner dies

Death is inevitable and at the same time unchangeable. Once it occurs, nothing can be done to change things. Because of this, sooner or later it has to be accepted.

However, as already indicated, when the partner dies, not only does love play a major role, but also the loss of shared dreams and plans. It is therefore necessary to break away from expectations of the future and to redesign them.

In order to be able to process the loss of the partner, it is also necessary to be able to imagine a different future. For this it is not necessary to focus only on yourself. You can start with small plans that gradually relate to your own self.

Follow up on things that were previously done together

At first it will be very painful to even think about activities that have been done with your partner. In fact, the pain and grief will turn them into something bitter for the first time, constantly raising the question of why.

Still: Gradually, all the things that had previously fulfilled you should be taken up again. It has to be learned again to have fun, to feel joy and to feel good.

In this context, the realization should arise that the activities will not be the same as with the partner, but only different and still cause a good feeling. Gradually, the memory of the loved one should be felt as an enrichment for all these things.

It is important to remember at all times that you have the right to enjoy life again.

Get professional help if necessary

It is possible that, despite all attempts, it may still seem too difficult to accept your partner’s death and overcome the pain. In this case, there should be no hesitation in seeking professional help. Thanks to specially tailored forms of therapy, a psychologist can help you regain control over life.

Lastly, it should be remembered that pain is normal and necessary while processing the loss. The most important thing is to be patient with yourself, to take your time and grieve so that you can gradually see the pain as part of your personal story and ultimately overcome it.